Funny

Notice in a factory 4 girl workers
"If your skirt is long, protect yourself 4m machine at work... If it is short, protect urself 4m men at work.

Insulting

Arz kiya hai- aapka dogi aapse oobh gaya..,,jaake gande naale me doob gaya , doobte hue bola- ab itna zulm nahi sahenge..
ek ghar me do-do nahi rahenge.

Funny

A man's silence can break a woman's heart into thousand pieces while a woman's silence can give a man a thousand moments of peace!

Funny

Thought of life: A mother makes her son GENTLE in 20 yrs, but a sweet girl makes him "MENTLE" in 20 minutes...!!!

Funny

Chanda Mama so gaye, Student sare jage, dekho pakdo yaron, ye course aage bhage, ek pariksha khatam 2 duji, shuru ho gayi MAMU!!

Funny

18 saal ho gaye, koi ladki nhi pati-ye hai aam jindagi
18 saal ho gaye, koi ladki hme pata nahi saki-ye hai mentos jindagi.

Shayari

Har rishte ko aajmaya he humne, kuch paya par bahut gawaya hai humne, har us shakhs ne rulaya he, jis ko bhi is dil me basaya hai humne...

Shayari

Dard abi chupa hi tha k tm aa gye,Dil abi dhdka hi tha k tm aa gye, shayad nhi thi maut hmare nasib me bs dum nikla hi tha k tum aa gaye.

Santa-Banta

Teacher:Oxygen is must for breathing.It was discovered in 1773.
Santa:thank God I was born after that.Pehle paida hota 2 mar hi jata.

Santa-Banta

Santa gaon gaya, bus se utarte he mitti hath me uthakar bola: gaon ki mitti ki khushbu he alag hai.
Banta: Thik se sungh Mitti nahi POTTI hai.

Insulting

As Years GO,

Umay lose ur hair,
Teeth & Eye Sight, nut u'll not loose smartness, talent, brightness & intelligence...
Bcoz...

U can lose only what U have..!!!

Insulting

Agar Basanti ki Mausi Thakur ko Rakhi bandhe 2 Basanti aur Thakur ka kya rishta hua?
Kuch b nahi Apna kaam karo Thakur k haath he nahi they..

Insulting

Nigahein nigaho se mila kar 2 dekho, dil ki har baat bata kar 2 dekho, sab kareeb aayenge tumhare, ek hafta lagatar naha kar 2 dekho.

Joke

Boy and girl of class 2 askd teacher: can kids or our age have kids ?
Teacher replies NO Never
Boy says 2 girl: see I told you dont worry.

Joke

Gabbar-O Murgi tujhe 2 ande dene ko kaha tha 1 kyo dia? tjhe mujse dar nai lagta ?
Murgi-Dar ki wajah se 1 anda diya hai, waise main murga hoon.

Joke

Teacher: What is ur fatehr's name ?
Student: Butter Res Government.
Teacher: How ?
Student: Because his name is Makhan Lal Sarkar.

Joke

Dad: Son, what do you want 4 ur bday?
Son: Vot much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

Joke

Pati: Aaj tumne ye kaisa khana banaya ha "GOBAR" jaisa.
Patni: Hey RAM is aadmi ne kya kya taste kar rakha hai.

Joke

Makan malik:500rs kiraya hoga
Kiraydar: par aapke makan me to chuhe nach rhe hain.
Makan malik: 500 me kya Shakira nachegi.

Joke

Teacher- Where were you born ?
Pappu- Thiruvanantpuram
Teacher-Ok, come & write the spelling on the board.
Pappu-Sorry Teacher, I was born in GOA.

Joke

Wife:- Suniyeji Aapka Dost Galat Ladki Se Shaadi Kar Raha Hai, Aap usse Rokte Kyun nahi?
Husband:- Main Usse Kyun Roku? usne Mujhe Roka Tha Kya.

Thought

Whenever u Lie Or Cheat d Person Who Likes U, Don't Think They R Fools to Believe U.
They Hide Deir Feelingz Bcoz They Don't Like To Dissapoint U.

Joke

Kid On 1st April: Kitchen Me Naukar, Naukarani o Kiss Kar Raha Hai.
Muumy: Abhi Dimag Theek Karti Hu Uska
Kid: April Fool Wo 2 PAPA Hai....

Dosti

When you mis some 1 , The person is definatly special to u...
But da correct intention is
"If the person is so special, why to miss them , just be in touch...

Funny

Girl: Main tumhare liye sab chhod dungi.
Boy: Parents ?
Girl: yah.
Boy: friends ?
Girl: yah.
Boy: Star plus ?
Girl: Muh sambhal kar baat kar kutte....

Santa-Banta

Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua ?
Man: Sham ke 6 naje hain!
Santa: Yaar, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.

Shayari

Sms karenge hum 1Duje ko bari bari, Hame lagti hai ye Rasam badi Pyari. Sms milte he 1 Sms bhej dena, Kyunki hume Bilkul Pasand nahi Udhari.

Thiought

Often when we lose all Hope and think this is the END,
God Smiles from above and says,
"Relax dear, it is just a BEND, not he END", ......

Joke

Patni: TV me Cricket dekh rahi thi.
Pati(akar bola): Darling main kaisa lag raha hu ?
Tahbi Patni jor se chillai "CHAKKA"...

Funny

Shahjahan ne TAJMAHAL ki har diwar ko dekha har meenar ko dekha har kaleen ko dekha aur bola MAA KASAM bahut kharcha ho gaya hai !

Shayari

Koi Kitab Aisi Jispe DIL luta Dete, Har Ek Ne Dimag Chata, Kis Kis Ko Nibta Dete,
Aj Syllabus Dekha To Khayal Aaya, Ek Maheena Aur Hota To UPTU Hila Dete..

Joke

Dr:- Kal dawai PEELI thi ?
Mareez:- Nai Dr, vo 2 LAAL thi.
Dr(cheekh kar):- mera matlab he KHALEE thi ?
Mareez:- Nahi Dr sahab, vo 2 BHARI thi...

Shayari

Use pane k liye kuch hbi kar sakta hoon. Uske pyar me ji aur mar sakta hoon. Fir bhi wo na mili to Gam nahi. Ye "FORMULA" me DUSRI pe bhi try kar sakta hoon.....

Joke

Prof: I dont mind when students look @ wath during lectures. But I ge angry, when dey remove their watch & shake; it 2 c if its working or not !

Santa-Banta

Santa- Yaar Meri Door Ki Nazar Kharab Hai,Chasma Lena Padega.
Banta- Wo Kya Chamak Raha Hai ?
Santa- Suraj.
Bana- Sale Aur Kitne Dur Dekhega !

Funny

Question: There is always a "DRIVE SLOW" bioard near boy's schools, but not near girl's college.Why ?
Answer: Coz vehicles automatically go slow.

Santa-Banta

Santa cricket ground me:

Security Guard: Cricket match khatam ho gaya tum ab tak kyun baithe ho ?
Santa: Oye yaar, Highlights k liye ruka hoon.

Shayari

Medical Shayari::
When you breathe , u respire! Wah Wah!
When you breathe , u respire! Wah Wah!
When you dont, u expire! Wah Wah! Kya Baat Hai :D

Dosti

Tere pe kurban hamari yari hai, Haske mar jayenge iski bhi taiyari hai. Ye sisila a khatam ho apni dosti ka, Lo humne tumhe yaad kiya ab tumhari baari hai..

Thought

Whats greater than mom's luv ??

Which pillow is better than lover's lap ??

Which company is better than frnzz??

There are sum things in life with NO SUBSTITUTES

Luv them 4 ever..!!

Thought

The purpose of a relationship is not to have someone who might complete you, but to have someone with whom you might share your incompleteness.

Insulting

Vo thanda-thanda paani, Vo shampoo ki mehak, Vo kushbu wala sabun, Vo mulayam tauliya, Vo saaf dhule kapde... khair tum chhodo... tum kya jaano roz nahane ka maza... ;)

Dosti

Every nice friend is a Glimpse of life's best blessings, a priceless gift that can never Be Bought, Sold, or Forgotten....

Thought

The greatest gift you can give to someone is your TIME...
B'coz wen you give
someone your time,
you are giving them a
portion of your life dat u'ii
never get back.

Dosti

It starts wid a
'hi/hello'.....It increases as 'watzup dese dayz'..... It grows to 'oye btana nai hota'.....
It tends to mould as 'stupid tu apna dimag mat chala main kehta/kehti hoon waissa kar'.....
And then it doesn't END...
And goes on and on and on....
Datz friendship..... :-)

Dosti

Sweetest part in life is to carry all the memories in life, but toughest part is to say gud bye to person who is behind those memories.

Joke

Teacher: All of you must write an essay on a dog n come tomorrow to class.
Sunny: But mam , my dog will not allow me to write an essay on its back,.

Dosti

Zikar Jab Bhi Aap Apno Ka Kia Karo,
Naam Bhi Unme Liya Karo,
Tarif Nahi To Burai Hi Sahi,
Par Apne Alfazo Me,
Jagah Hume Bhi Diya Karo.

Love

Par ke apne alag andaj hote hai.
Jagti ankho me bhi kuch khwab hote hai.
Jaruri nahi ki gum me aansu nike.
Muskurati ankho me bhi sailab hote hai.

Good Morning

It's wonderful to get Answers of prayers, but it is even more Wonderful to let

GOD mould U & make U into an Answer og Somebody's Prayers..
Gud mrng